by Niall Doherty

Below is the first ever guest post here at Disrupting the Rabblement, courtesy of Matt Ramos over at 30 Vanquish. Above is a video (kinda) of me and Matt chatting about polarization and such. Click here if you can’t see it.

Be polarizing.

For example: Niall wrote about how he probably didn’t want to have kids, why pornography is bad, and his support for self-masturbation, all in one post.

It probably disgusted some people who don’t like reading about those topics and annoyed those who opposed his views.

But it made those who support his views (and those who oppose respectfully) really support his work.

It made his supporters really love him.

If he were to say, “I may or may not want to have kids, I think getting married is okay, and masturbation depends on the person,” then he lacks credibility by trying to work with all potential readers.

It’s harder to resonate with someone who’s always in the middle of the crowd. It’s more difficult to gain support from the right people if you’re going to try and please everyone.

In order to make people fall in love with you and your work, you have to express yourself without many censors. You have to express yourself as candidly as possible.

Why It’s Important to Embrace Your Polarizing Traits

I’m Male. I’m Asian.

Those two things polarize me before I’m allowed to even speak and I can’t change them!

An example: I remember walking down San Francisco’s Haight District (lots of hippies, druggies, strange people) which was fascinating. I was walking around with two friends of mine when someone called out, “Wow, you two ladies are lovely but what are you doing with a dirty Asian?”

So it’s just an example of how polarization occurs even if you do everything the “right” way.

I wanted to share some facts about me to burst the stereotype bubble and tell you some polarizing details about myself.

  • My favorite food is a burrito.
  • I’m a huge advocate for androgyny.
  • I’m sexually open to anything except I’m 100% straight.
  • I’m not huge on marriage either.
  • My empathy is a blessing and a curse that makes me understand everyone’s point of view.
  • If Niall is into Asian women more, I’m into Caucasian women more.
  • I think ice cream is overrated.
  • Action with intent is more powerful than acting for no reason.
  • I’d travel for people not for the actual places.

Not really the typical Asian, huh?

I’ve spoken my mind with 100% honesty, which has polarizing traits. Now people have learned about the real, authentic me. It’ll make it easier for others to relate to me by being that polarized.

Solution: Speak Your Mind!

Be yourself and do whatever you please, whatever makes you feel passionate, and whatever makes you happy because every decision will be judged by others anyways.

  • Tell that stranger that they’re cute.
  • Tell your family that you want to do things a different way.
  • Speak out to a whole crowd to “Have a good day!”
  • Don’t be afraid to approach a friend with personal details.

Speak your mind and express yourself because it’ll help people support you and your actions. If the decision works with you, then that’s the right decision.

Those questioning you are speaking from their perspective. What you do may not make any sense to them. That’s alright.

Do it anyways because you’re living your truth.

When you’re living your truth without any external restraints, that’s when you can say and do whatever you want!

Then you can be polarizing.

Be sure to check out Matt’s experiments in polarization and destroying social boundaries over at 30 Vanquish. As mentioned in the interview, he’s starting an 30-day Awkward Moments Experiment next week, which should be a lot of fun.