by Niall Doherty


Speaks to me a little different every year. This line stood out watching it tonight: “Plenty of time you’ll be alone. When you’re different like us, it’s gonna be that way.” No tears this time around, maybe because I wasn’t actually watching alone. But after everyone left, I sat myself down and had a good cry.


Someone sent me an article today about how successful people spend their weekends. One key is to get up at the same time you do during the week, so as not to disrupt your sleep schedule and throw you out of whack. I need to abide by this. Problem though isn’t so much the time I wake up on weekends, but the time I go to bed.


Typing this on a Sunday evening. Tomorrow I start into a hectic work schedule, aiming to write 34 lessons for my course in 12 days. Pull that off and I should be on track to launch the thing by the end of January, as promised. And these lessons need to be solid, quality in quantity. Deep breath, here we go…


A girl I’m dating says she’s a bit intimidated by how organized I am. She asked if I’d tidied up the apartment before she came over and I told her no, it’s always like this. Now I’m all self-conscious about being too OCD. I have a bunch of things arranged neatly on the bathroom shelf but have taken to messing them up a little before anyone drops by.


Feeling the truth of these lines from Mastery this morning: “You must always try to work with deadlines, whether real or manufactured. Faced with the slenderest amount of time to reach the end, the mind rises to the level you require. Ideas crowd upon one another. You don’t have the luxury of feeling frustrated.”

Ice skating behind the Rijks.

Ice skating behind the Rijks.


In the library discussing the many things we learned in school that proved useless, and the opportunity cost of all that. I could have done without Religion and Irish, and remember little of what I was taught in French, History, Maths, Physics. Would have served me better to learn about first aid, mental health, how to cook, basic finance.


Focused as I am on getting this course ready for launch, I notice that I pay less attention to trivial shit. Someone writes a bitchy comment on Facebook? Shrug it off. That girl hasn’t responded to my texts? Ah fuck it. Shopkeeper acting rude to me? Barely registers. Coming to better understand the people who do get worked up over these kinds of things.


Bit of a sausage-fest at the meetup, which is fine for a while. I need more good men in my life, that brotherhood. But I know it’ll eat away at me if I don’t at least approach an attractive lady or two in this place before calling it a night. After a couple of hours of man-talk, I try a few and flame out fast, then cycle home at peace with myself.


Reminded this eve of that familiar paradox: playing it safe is often the most dangerous thing you can do. Because our best chance of success is to fully commit to something, to go all out. But that’s scary, right? So instead we take half measures, don’t put ourselves out there, stick to the safe and familiar… and go to the grave with our song unsung.


Sunday is my day to sharpen the saw. Take my time, cook up some healthy food, get organized for the week. Also a good day for topping up on motivation and inspiration. Spent a couple of hours this afternoon reading about Elon Musk and Tesla, and now I’m eager to get back to work. The world needs us to make the best of ourselves.

Meeting point for a lights festival tour.

Meeting point for a lights festival tour.


Shit. Feel like I hit a wall today. Let myself skip the gym I was so tired this morning, then struggled to get another three lessons written for the course. Hiring a copywriter now to help get this thing finished, which is great but not exactly cheap, and realized on a call with him how much work I still have to do before launching on the 29th.


Lay awake in bed last night for two-and-a-half hours, couldn’t switch off. Today was better. Back at the gym, back in the flow, less freaking out. All part of the roller coaster, I guess. Talking about it at dinner with friends this eve, two good dudes six clicks across town, moving forward while understanding that it’s incomprehensible.


Sinking feeling when I see that another online entrepreneur pulled in five figures last month. That guy? I met him years ago, didn’t exactly hit it off. How the fuck can he be thriving and me not there yet? But I think a little more and reframe. Bodes well for me that he can do that. Because he’s got nothing I don’t have or can’t learn. Only a matter of time.


All lessons for the course complete, a day ahead of schedule. On track to launch by the end of the month but still lots to do. Payment processing, sales funnel, styling work… many bits and pieces to slot into place. And launch day is really only the halfway point. Then it’s helping students prosper and promoting the bejesus out of this thing.


At least ten at this table. Among us French, Turkish, American, Serbian, Indian… and an Egyptian girl casting flirty looks from wisened eyes. We’re in a jazz bar with no jazz, surrounded by cigarette smoke and little wooden heads carved into the walls and I’m the only one sober. I’ll dance tonight, and laugh and shine, and invite those eyes back to mine.

First attempt making blueberry pancakes.

First attempt making blueberry pancakes.

In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?

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