by Niall Doherty

I try to live my life in such a way that if everything I did and said were to become public knowledge, I’d still be able to walk down the street with my head held high.

This philosophy of mine was twice put to the test about a month ago in Romania.

Invitation To Swing

I was frequenting one particular night spot in Bucharest and got to know a fellow frequenter. We hit it off pretty well and talked openly about sex several times. One night this girl was there with her boyfriend. She told me they were planning to go to a swingers club the following week, and asked if I’d like to join.

After thinking about it for a while, I concluded that I wouldn’t be comfortable with the whole world knowing that I’d gone along to a swingers club. Justified or not, it seems I have some hang ups about experiencing such a place. I’m probably just worried what other people would think of me for going, but I see that as a sign that I’m not fully comfortable with the idea myself, at least not yet. If I was, the opinions of others wouldn’t faze me.

And so with all that in mind, I politely declined the invitation.

Hook-ups 2.0

A few days later I’m chatting with a buddy on Skype and he tells me he’s considering signing up to one of those adult dating sites. And I’m not talking eHarmony here, where old-fashioned romantics quest for their one true love. No, the site we were discussing was all about getting jiggy. You browse the profiles of people in your area, message a few that you like, and then, if the feeling is mutual, meet up and hook up.

I began thinking about giving this a go myself. After all, I do quite enjoy the whole sex thing, and having more opportunities to meet nice, like-minded ladies as I travel sounds good to me.

But before I got too far ahead of myself, I went through that same line of self-questioning: If the whole world were to know that I use such a site, would I still be able to walk down the street with my head held high?

After sitting with it for a while, I settled on yes.

After all, I see no significant difference between a traditional one-night stand and hooking up via a website. If I’m comfortable with one, I should be comfortable with the other.

Growing Comfort

Six months ago, I don’t think I would have been at ease writing or speaking aloud about any of this. That flirting experiment in Amsterdam was the start of me breaking out of my prudish shell, and I’ve been growing ever more comfortable with my sexuality since.

That’s not to say that I crave empty sex with random strangers. I still put a high value on real connection and intimacy. If I can’t find those things via an adult dating site, I won’t be hanging around there for long.

All the above to say… don’t be surprised if you see a subscription to Adult Friend Finder in my next finance report 😉

Over To You

Feel free to share your thoughts on my decision to join an adult dating site, but what I’d really like your take on here is this whole philosophy of living life as if all your words and deeds were to become public knowledge.

Are there things you say and do that you’d be ashamed to admit publicly? Is that a sign that you’re not fully at ease with the words and actions you choose, or is it more that you’d rather save yourself from small-minded ridicule?

Let me know in the comments. Imaginary bonus points for using your real name, doubled if you go ahead and share this post afterwards 😉