by Niall Doherty

Two quick things about the word no

1. Make them say it

You want something from somebody but you resist asking them because you assume the answer will be no. Stop assuming and go ask. Even if you’re 100% sure they’ll say no, go ask anyway. You’ll be surprised how often the answer is yes.

A friend of mine often tells the story of how he started dating his wife. She was the most popular girl in school. All the guys wanted her. Mike wasn’t one of the cool kids, but he ended up taking her to the prom. A few jocks pulled him aside on prom night and asked how the hell he got this girl to be his date. Mike just shrugged and told them, “I asked her.” He was the only one who had. Everyone else assumed the answer would be no.

2. Rejection therapy

I won’t lie: If you ask a lot, you’ll get rejected a lot. Dates, discounts, interviews, cargo ships to Sri Lanka… even if you’re exceptionally good at asking and have perfected the puppy dog look, you’ll likely hear no a lot more than you hear yes.

Don’t let that stop you. Accept that rejection is a part of life. It’s the gauntlet you have to pass through to get what you want. Instead of trying to avoid rejection, resolve to become immune to it. Flip it so instead of getting down about every no you hear, you consider yourself leveled up afterwards, the experience helping you grow a thicker skin.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ll find that even the worst rejection doesn’t sting as much as giving into resistance and never asking in the first place. Those what-if’s will haunt you forever.

What are you waiting for?

Go.

Ask.