Feeling a bit stuck with the apartment situation here in Amsterdam. Subletting is illegal, so I can’t do the AirBnB thing when I’m out of town and earn €80-100 a night. I could give up the apartment, hit the road for a month, then try rent anew when I return, but I doubt I’d find something as good as this again. Fuck it. I’ll just get rich and buy a place. Problem solved.
Back to Sarphatipark in the mornings with the weather warming up. Jog over, bit of a stretch, some time on the bars. Then precision jumping and balance work, followed by a few sprints. Stroll back through De Pijp, seeing the shopkeepers opening up, the market coming to life. Pause for a bit on a canal bridge with the sun shining through. Feel grateful that I get to live here.
Not relying on my ever-wavering willpower to get it done, I told my Mastermind buddy last night that I’d get the sales page for 3M1K fully rewritten and published by the end of the week… or pay a €1,000 fine. With that fire toasting my buns, today I finished the first draft and opened it up for feedback.
Added a new task to my morning routine, inspired by these wise words from Zig Ziglar: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Going forward, each morning I’ll seek out something positive, something inspiring, and post it on the DtR Facebook page. Fuel for the fire.
A real hardcore head-down no-fucking-around work day today. Shut off all the distractions, let the messages pile up, and immersed myself in crafting that sales page. Still a good chunk left to do on it, but methinks I’m on track to avoid the big penalty. Will need to put in a few hours on Saturday and Sunday, but that’s okay.
What a shit night. And it ends with me home alone, unable to sleep, having a porn relapse and eating junk I’m not hungry for. Punishing myself. Self-destruct mode. And why? Frustrated that I let several more opportunities slip by at that bar. Realizing I can’t rely on myself to push interactions automatically. Gotta put the training wheels back on.
At a friend’s place for a dinner party. Beautiful apartment, much bigger than mine, decent location, his mortgage costs less than my rent each month, and he can sublet for a small fortune when he’s out of town. Never though I’d be checking out mortgage rates so soon here in the Netherlands, but it sounds like a smart move.
Today was the deadline, and I got it done. New sales page up, €1,000 saved. Amazing how much a penalty like that gets me motivated, how many things fall by the wayside when you have a gun to your head. You stop procrastinating, stop making excuses, clock in and do the work.
Reading back over that entry from the 6th, and it strikes me how fast I bounced back. I went to bed sad and lonely and frustrated but felt right as rain and nare a derail the next day and on into this week. Before I hit the hay that night I stood in front of the mirror, looked myself in the eye, and reminded the guy in the glass that I love him no matter what.
Some fecker buckled the wheel of my bike overnight. Brought it down to the bike shop at Heinekenplein today. After the usual great service from them last time, I posted a recommendation on Facebook and they caught wind of it, had a bottle of rum there for me when I called in again. Today they refused payment for fixing the wheel, so I went and bought them a 12-pack.
I still keep up with the NBA stuff. Steph Curry has been phenomenal this season, and was today named the first ever unanimous MVP. Reading comments on YouTube though, I’m reminded what drove me away from writing about basketball years ago. So many haters. What sad lives they must lead.
Comment from a 3M1Ker: “You don’t start by having a good day and then get lots done. First, you do something well, and then you get the inspired, happy day.” How true that is, and the same theme can be found in many situations. Trying to remind myself of that in the social sphere. Gotta go talk to people even when I don’t feel like it.
What frustrates me more than anything is repeating the same mistakes over and over. For example, I know what it takes to do well in the dating scene, but I’ll often let myself fall in a rut and avoid doing the things that will get me out of it. That kills me. That self-sabotage, feeling unworthy of happiness and success. Didn’t fall for it today though. Today I did myself proud.
Three hours of sleep last night but didn’t feel it today. It will probably catch up with me tomorrow or next week, but right now I’ve got fizz in my veins. It’s the assertiveness methinks. Going after what you want, speaking your mind, being more authentic… you’d think it’d tire you out but more often it energizes you.
Went and did the tourist thing at Keukenhof, which was beautiful, all kinds of flowers I’d never seen before. Though there was the usual insanity on full display at such a popular spot. Lots of people experiencing the whole thing through their screens, and willing to trample each other for the perfect selfie. Silly humans.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?