Working on my latest finance report. Things are getting more complex lately with VAT and bills and taxes. The price of staying in one place. I’m cutting it quite close money-wise, don’t have much of a buffer, little room for error. But I’ll make it work, figure something out. I’m good at that.
Posted on Facebook that idea about a US road trip in June, asked who wanted to join. Dozens of people expressed interest but only two reached out beyond the comments, sent me private messages to inquire further. That’s usually the way. We say we want something and get all excited, but desires and intentions alone don’t make shit happen.
Gym-bound at the crack, running on four hours sleep cutting through a narrow alley, feeling oddly energetic, blissful even. Feels like I’m on the verge of something, boulder cresting a hill. Later I’ll sit in a crowded room and listen to a lady strum a guitar and sing a song about love and bravery and it will all seem connected somehow.
It dawns on me about halfway through that he’s a level beyond where I’m at and there’s no way I’ll be able to afford his services. At least not yet. So I let him talk and try to follow along, but I’m distracted by his big watch and wondering why he hasn’t qualified me in some way to make sure I’m not wasting his time.
R invited us over for dinner at her new place. Minestrone. Just the three of us, sitting, chatting, eating, laughing. I don’t think they realize how much this fills me up, keeps my heart warm. Didn’t realize it myself until it was time to go and I was left wishing for more.
So far this month four people have canceled their recurring payments to 3M1K. None have asked for a refund. One tells me he’s too busy to devote time to the course right now, awaiting feedback from the others. My bad for not being more aware the last few weeks. I should notice when someone’s inactive and check in with them to see what’s up. Learning.
Hit the wall today. Burnt out. Run down. Feeling sorry for myself. Gave the gym a miss and skipped the 24-hour fast. Needed rest and comfort food. Still got the essentials done but also allowed myself to veg on the couch for a bit, watching Netflix and eating a whole bag of pistachios. Can’t afford days like this too often though. Back at it tomorrow.
Definitely pushing against my limits this week, but trying to stay focused on the upside. Significant growth potential here, no better time to cut the fluff, enforce boundaries, and demand respect. Kinda like like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. Except, you know, I make my own breakfast.
Still skipping the gym, I’ll pass on salsa this eve, and now filtering emails from that tax guy who wants to bill me for the “free” consultation we had last week. Only so much I can handle at one time and stay sane. Ten skype calls scheduled today and a fever coming on to boot. I’m a mighty mighty man, I’m young and I’m in my prime.
Two calls with prospective clients, discussing projects worth $2,600. I found them both on Upwork, managed to get their attention despite 50+ competing proposals for each job. That’s one thing about creating my course: they say the best way to learn is to teach, and I’ve definitely become a better freelancer by teaching others how to become better freelancers.
Advising a member of 3M1K not to compare himself to others. There’s always someone out there faring better than you are, so it’s always a losing proposition. Then I hear of a friend who’s killing it with her online biz. She started later than me, and is now much further ahead. I’m happy for her, but it also makes me question what I’ve been doing.
Decided not to do that USA road trip in June. It would be cool and everything, but it would also be another project on my plate, a project requiring time and energy and money, both to plan and execute. I’d be falling back into that old habit of trying to do too much. (Actually, not sure I’ve ever broken that habit.)
Feeling the urge to get back to blogging more frequently. I quit my twice-a-week schedule in 2013, and traffic has plateaued since. I believe writing is my best contribution to the world, where my brightest future lies. But again, there’s that old habit to be wary of. Decided to ditch one project yesterday, and today I’m back on the hunt.
Imagine you really liked puppies but there was one puppy left on earth and you only got to play with him for five minutes every three days. That’s me as a boyfriend. Great when I’m there, but never around as much as you want me to be. Too busy trying to build that empire. Luckily, I’m nobody’s boyfriend. Barely make time for a booty call these days.
Sitting, sipping coffee, eyes towards arrivals. A very old priest walked by a minute ago with a big smile and a glow all around him. Then a lady with an Alsatian twice her size. Now a pretty girl in a hat, a couple embracing. I’m waiting for the folks, in town for my birthday. Looking forward to walks and talks and time away from the machine.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?