Another one of those days dreams are made of. Nothing fancy, just head down and doing the work even though I didn’t feel like doing it. The course hasn’t taken off as fast as I’d hoped, but then few things worthwhile ever do. Overnight success tends to take a while when you’re looking out your own eyes.
Salsa class. We switch partners every few minutes so you get to dance with everyone. I prefer some to others. One girl likes to tell me I’m messing up but I’m pretty sure it’s her who’s getting it wrong since things flow fine with the rest. But I don’t know enough to correct her, so I keep my mouth shut. She obviously doesn’t share that philosophy.
When you realize that something you used to struggle with has become easy and enjoyable. Social settings like this eve used to scare the bejesus out of me. Okay so sometimes the anxiety still surfaces, but less and less as time goes by. All that practice has paid off. Putting myself out there, starting conversations, stumbling through the awkwardness.
I was 17 working late shifts at a hotel in my hometown. They had me lugging suitcases, collecting glasses, mopping puke off the dance floor. That summer was the first time it really dawned on me that everything comes and everything goes. Even the shittiest nights would run their course and I’d go home to fresh toast and a warm bed.
It’s raining, it’s Saturday and I’m running in the park. There’s a guy trying to keep his pearly kicks out of the mud and a dog that thinks this weather is the best thing ever. I don’t usually exercise on weekends but today I had the urge to get out and run. Feels like I’m running away from myself, trying to keep dark thoughts at bay.
Kinda caught in limbo with the course. It’s done well enough that it makes sense to keep investing in it, but not well enough to keep me afloat financially. I’ll need to get back to freelancing and postpone some other projects I had in mind. Trying to stay positive and see the challenge as an opportunity. Lots more learning ahead.
Yesterday was a rough one. Some of the sad was simple burnout after a long week, but a good chunk of it was me feeling sorry for myself, disappointed that things haven’t gone better this month. I think I’ll always have the occasional day like that though, no matter how good life gets. Important thing is to not to dwell on them. Everything comes, everything goes.
Found a parkour gym here in Amsterdam, went for a session this eve. Easily my favorite form of exercise. Trying to set myself up business-wise so I can do some immersion adventures in the not-too-distant future. One would definitely be parkour. Train at it consistently for several months, become a certified coach, break some crazy jumps.
Anxious in the hours leading up to salsa class tonight, probably because of that annoyance last week. Figured it would be more of the same. But nope, it wasn’t. Great class, finally felt like we were flowing, not so robotic. Reminded me how we suffer more due to worries and expectations than things that are actually happening.
A friend once told me that he’d never managed to bring his lady of five years to climax, and not for lack of trying. That memory comes to mind as I joke with this girl about how she might have broken the world record for multiple orgasms just now. I’d like to take all the credit, but fact is some women get there easier than others.
I tell everyone that I’m still in the honeymoon period here in Amsterdam. Nine months in and loving it relentless. But these love-struck days may be numbered. More bills came through the door this afternoon, and taxes must soon be paid. Someone once wrote that most folks visit works of art, while the people of Amsterdam live in one. Good art ain’t cheap.
There’s that gap between what you know you can create, and right now. I can envision the business I want to build, the business I am building, how it will help people and the packaging it’ll be wrapped in. I have no doubt it will be a success. But man, that gap. It looks mighty big and intimidating sometimes, like it does today, a long way from here to there.
Actually, looking at the sales numbers for 3M1K, it’s done alright this first month. 25 sales totaling €2,761.95. I opted to make VAT inclusive though, and 18 of those sales are from VAT countries, so that’s a big slice of the pie I can’t eat. Still, not bad going. 23 of those buyers are on monthly payments, too, so they’ll pay me again in March and April.
Invited to a wedding in New Orleans in June. Now I’m thinking, why not turn it into an epic adventure? Start on the east coast, rent a car or an RV, road trip it down south and back again. Two weeks maybe. Meet some internet friends, visit Rushmore, that kinda thing. But not alone. 4-5 people would be great. Interested? (I’m serious. Get in touch.)
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?